What happens next?

I want to ask but I don't want to find out,
I am lost but I don't want to be found.
What happens next? 
When everything's just a mess?

I stare at the ceiling, enjoying the quiet.
My thoughts are a disarray in my head.
I hug my pillow, I close my eyes.
Tonight is the night I say goodbye.

How could it have gotten like this?
Then it was joy, now it's just tears.
I wish to hear the sound of your voice,
But I couldn't hear through the noise.

I still remember the look in your face,
the smile in your lips,
the way your eyes lit.
When will it be that way again?

I want it all back but it's gone.
What's done is done.
What happens next?
When everything's just a mess?