I've always known the fact that I was flawed. I have never been the confident kind as I have nothing to be confident about. I am not physically attractive, and even more I have nothing to make myself believe that I am actually worth something. 

But I have never been the retreating kind. I always remind myself that trying is always, always what matters. I have always believed that the means justify the end and not the other way around, because it doesn't matter whether you triumphed or not as long as you put your heart to it and and as long as you didn't give up until you've nothing left. 

That's what I have been reminding myself whenever I feel the need to turn my back and simply walk away. That's what I have been telling myself when I am in the brink of breaking down. That's what I have been holding on for so long, that maybe if I tried hard enough it wouldn't be so bad at all.

But why do I feel like this? Why do I suddenly feel like giving up? Why do I suddenly ask myself if any of these matter when I know I'm going to fail in the end anyway?